Total mommy melt down today. The cause is not something that I want to share with the kiddos, because it involves one of them and I really don't want him to feel badly. Any way... the kids' reactions were everything that I could have hoped for, if I could have ever seen my way to completely lose it right in front of them.
Porter just wanted to know why- and I couldn't tell him. So he told me that he was going to give me some space, and he went upstairs.
Jensen just came up with a quivering little lip, and a quaver in his voice and told me, "Mommy- I hate to see you so sad. Can I make it better?" No, sweetie... sometimes the grown ups have to figure things out, and sometimes they're overwhelming, but Mommy will figure it out. I always do.
Turns out, Porter wasn't going to give me space. Not really. Not my kid. Not the child who, like his mother, just can't let it go. Nope. He went upstairs and called my Dad, asked him if HE knew why I was sad. Dad didn't, so he called my Mom. (I didn't even know that he knew their cell phone numbers, so I guess that's one thing that I can cross off of my list.)
Anyway... I guess that, despite my melt down, we're doing something OK. We're raising empathetic children. For as much as I sometimes fear that we're raising kids who tend toward the self centered, when the chips are down, I can count on them.
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